Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
