and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
