he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
