I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
