so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I cut my penus on the lid.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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