you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
