So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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