a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
