my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
