Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
