Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
