I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
