that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
