i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
