Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
