im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
