K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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