She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
