I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
