Where is the hickey?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
