jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
