after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize