i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
