So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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