I need help removing her.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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