Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we're making bets on your personal life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
