I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
