I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
