is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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