My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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