Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
