'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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