You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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