i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I lost the right to judge tonight
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
