Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
