Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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