he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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