i think i have two assholes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
