I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
false alarm, still single
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
