Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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