i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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