If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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