I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
