he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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