It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
