I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
