I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
do herpes really smell.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
