Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
