Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
