Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
