glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
