I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
